There’s a strange stigma in society that makes so many of us believe that doing something by yourself makes you inherently lonely, but being alone and being lonely are two vastly different things. Being alone is how you would physically describe yourself, whereas being lonely is how you would emotionally describe yourself. There are situations where you are in a crowd of people and still feel lonely. You may also be alone and not feel lonely at all. When I was at a coffee shop with a friend recently, we spotted an older person alone at a table, and my friend said to me, “It makes me so sad to see old people by themselves.” I understood her sentiment, but I also thought to myself, “We don’t know why they are by themself in this moment.” Perhaps there isn’t any sad reason at all and they are simply taking in the quiet afternoon by enjoying their coffee. I believe in the power of quality time spent by yourself out in public, but that social stigma can be difficult to overcome.

We all love to be by ourselves in some sense, like when you are in the comfort of your own home, settling in to binge a TV show or read a book. Most people need those times to recharge and turn off the social part of their brain. Research on solitude suggests that alone time is important for your mental well-being. Ian Taylor quotes Dr. Thuy-Vy Nguyen, a psychology professor and co-author of Solitude: Power and Science of Being Alone: “One thing that we consistently see in our research is that alone time is very good for emotion regulation.”(1) In the same article, author Ian Taylor writes that alone time can improve physical wellness, such as decreasing cortisol levels, increasing creativity, and improving “self-compassion and resilience.” For introverts, being alone at the end of the day is a breath of fresh air. For extroverts, and introverts alike, being alone out in public can feel intimidating and vulnerable because of social stigmas around loneliness. I could simply say, “Don’t worry about what other people think,” but that’s much easier said than done. Like with anything, being comfortable by yourself in public spaces gets easier with practice.

According to Healthline,  one recommendation for spending time alone is to “carve out time to let your mind wander.”(2) One of the tricky parts about being in public spaces are the additional people talking and laughing with each other. It’s normal to feel awkward in those situations, especially for sociable people who aren’t used to sitting with their thoughts while other people engage in conversation. Learning to be comfortable with just your thoughts is the first step in this process. Healthline recommends setting a timer for five minutes and using that time to think without any distractions.(2) These distractions may include TV, music, podcasts, or books. You could also take this time to practice some meditation techniques. You can find more tips about meditation in our article How to Reset Your Mind. 

It may be helpful to try an activity alone and outside of your home. If you’re uncomfortable being by yourself around groups of strangers, pick an activity in a space that doesn’t have many people. Heather Hanson, a co-author of Solitude: Power and Science of Being Alone, talks about her experience walking around the U.K. with Peter McGraw on his podcast Solo—The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life. Specifically, Hanson talks about how walking helped her to think and process the grief of losing her mother to a rare disease. Hanson explains how she didn’t know that walking was going to be an outlet for her and she was simply just following her instinct. By walking, she could take some time to be alone. She says, “At that particular moment in time, I had an understanding of the power of solitude in terms of being able to regulate emotions and recenter, get away from other people’s expectations and gazes, and settle into doing that”.(3) 

Similar to the first step, Hanson focuses on going outside to become comfortable with your own thoughts and doing something on your own. If you don’t enjoy walking, consider riding a bike or sitting in a park. Try to do this a few times without listening to anything. When I walk, I enjoy putting my headphones on sometimes even if I’m not listening to anything because the noise cancellation can be grounding. Do take some moments to listen to the surrounding sounds of nature as well. Once you’ve become comfortable with your own thoughts, reward yourself by listening to music, reading a book, doodling in a sketchbook, or working on a craft project. However, refrain from scrolling on your phone during this time.

Once you are content with your own thoughts and doing small activities by yourself, you can start to increase the stakes by going places that are buzzing with couples or groups of people. Many of these settings are easily enjoyed alone. These may include activities like going to a coffee shop, flea market, restaurant, or movie theater. I enjoy seeing every single movie released in theaters, and after asking my family and friends to go with me so often, I quickly learned that the other people in my life don’t feel the same way. I knew if that was an activity I wanted to do, then I would have to become comfortable riding solo to the movie theater every now and then. Doing things by yourself is empowering, and can even bring you toward others with similar interests. It’s amazing when you have friends or family who like to participate in those interests with you, but people can be busy or not willing to spend money on the same things you are. By becoming comfortable doing things on your own, you gain more freedom to experience new things. Maybe you want to try a pottery class or join a book club. By going by yourself, you’ll likely meet new people who share similar interests. You can make new connections or continue to enjoy your activity solo.

As you become more and more comfortable going on solo adventures, consider setting a goal for yourself to do something far out of your comfort zone. Choose something that you really want to be able to do by yourself, and set out to make that happen. This might be an experience that requires a bit more planning, such as a trip. Traveling alone can create amazing memories and introduce you to new people, leaving you with countless stories. Consider planning an elaborate trip for yourself, whether you’d like to explore another country, relax at a resort, visit nearby cities, or make a day trip somewhere close by. Make a goal that exceeds anything you’ve done alone up to this point and is realistically achievable.

For many, safety may be a concern when traveling on their own. Rather than fearing solo travel, approach the journey with proactive research and preparedness. This video by Youtuber Silver and Solo is a great starting point for considering different solo travel trips: “14 Safety Tips for Travelling Solo.”(4) This video from Youtuber Kate Ventures Outdoors has more tips catered to solo outdoors adventuring: “How I Stay Safe Solo Hiking, Camping, Backpacking | Safety as a Woman Alone Outdoors.”(5) Silver and Solo and Kate Ventures both urge viewers to always pay attention to their surroundings. Whether you are traveling to another country or exploring your local park, a keen sense of awareness will be your best friend in any scenario. Practice being present in the moment and taking in your surroundings rather than letting fear dictate how you enjoy an adventure.

You can’t eliminate all risks, but you can enter prepared. The most important part about solo adventuring is to have a good time, don’t let scary situations deter you, and make decisions that allow you to feel the most comfortable. Doing things by yourself is a way to reconnect with who you are as an individual and is necessary to mitigating stress and regulating emotions. It gives you the opportunity to do exactly what you want in an experience. If the idea of doing things alone still sounds scary, remember you can do anything at your own pace and make changes as you start to feel more comfortable. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. Get out there and make new memories that are perfectly catered to you and you alone.

Exercises

Use the examples below as they are or to inspire the activities you will do on your own.

Getting Started

• Sit with your thoughts. To start, set a timer for five minutes, then close your eyes. With this time, let your mind wander. You could also use this time to repeat affirmations that encourage you to do things alone such as “I am capable of stepping out of my comfort zone,” “I can take on new challenges,” or “I am not responsible for what others think of me.” Increase the time you spend with your thoughts as it gets easier.

Baby Steps

• Go for a walk. Explore new areas around your town or city. You have the option to wear headphones, listen to music, or simply enjoy the sounds around you. 

• Visit the library. Take work or a book (or check out a book from the library) and relax in the company of other library-dwellers.

• Relax in a park. Bring a book or a craft project or simply people-watch.

• Walk around a farmer’s market.

Expand Further

• See a movie at the theater.

• Get dinner at a restaurant.

• Join a book club.

• Go to a local concert.

• Make a day trip to a nearby city.

• Travel to another country solo.

Works Cited

1. Ian Taylor. BBC Science Focus Magazine [Internet]. BBC; 2025 [cited 2026 May 31]. This overlooked habit might be your best stress relief too. Available from: https://www.sciencefocus.com/wellbeing/spending-time-alone-psychology

2. Ann P. Healthline [Internet]. 2019 [cited 2026 Apr 6]. The Beginner’s Guide to Being Happy Alone. Available from: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-be-happy-alone

3. The Science Of Solitude And The Power Of Being Alone [Internet]. Peter McGraw; 2024 [cited 2026 Jul 22]. (Solo - The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life). Available from: https://petermcgraw.org/the-science-of-solitude-and-the-power-of-being-alone/

4. Silver and Solo. Youtube [Internet]. 2024 [cited 2026 Jul 22]. Solo Traveler Safety: Don’t Travel Without Watching This.

5. Kate Ventures. How I Stay Safe Solo Hiking, Camping, Backpacking | Safety as a Woman Alone Outdoors [Internet]. 2025 [cited 2026 Apr 6].

Credits

Editor: Piper Ruth

Research Consultant: Emmerson Borthwick

Illustrator: Aiden Lawton

**The Beamish Club does not offer professional medical advice, treatments, nor diagnosis. Anything written and published by The Beamish Club is not a direct replacement for medical treatment. If you have health concerns, please seek advice from your local health and mental health professionals for treatment plans.**